The One About Hemorrhoids

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 Let me start by saying something important: nobody warns you about adulthood properly. It Started Innocently. Everything was normal. I woke up, drank my tea, minded my business like a responsible citizen. Around midday, I felt pressed and off to the loo I went to do a number two. Five minutes after, my life changed. Chaos. The Moment of Realization Let me tell you something: when hemorrhoids arrive, they do not knock politely . They enter like an uninvited relative during Christmas. Suddenly sitting down is no longer an activity. It becomes a negotiation with destiny . I sat down. My body said: “Excuse me, who authorized this?” I stood up. My body said: “Where do you think you're going? ” At that point I realized this pain is not joking with me. The Walk of Suffering Let me talk about walking. Normally, walking is simple. Left leg and right leg abi? But when hemorrhoids flare up, you start walking like someone that is transporting fragile eggs between your bu...
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Stay Cool, Calm and Sweet Smelling.

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Lagos is HOT!!!!

It is almost December and no sign of harmattan. Not like harmattan is like winter but at least the weather is usually bearable despite the dust and it is our welcome to the Christmas mode feeling. 

I was showering for the fourth time today when I had this light bulb moment to write about how to cope with this season without being a community nuisance. Imagine having to deal with all the problems on Nigeria on one hand and not able to swallow spit because your colleague smells like a fish tank. It is not nice.

1. Shower daily, twice if possible and ensure you use your sponge and soap all the time. See, when you come in from the hot sun, do not just get into the shower and rinse your body with water only. Attack those germs, use soap. You will feel better. Trust me. 

2. Do not be a stranger to deodorants and antiperspirants in this season please. Put some on in the morning, if possible have a spare in your bag or the safe in your car. Deodorants don't kill, they help the environment. 

3. SHAVE!!!! the combination of sweat and hairy armpits : never a good sight. It turns red like the muddy patch to my grandmother's village. And it stinks too.

4. If you use public transport to work and will most likely sweat before getting to the office, we have a solution to that problem too. Go into your rest room and use a wet sponge/towel to wipe down your armpits and then spray your deodorant. You are good to go.

5. Drink loads and loads of water. It will save you from being dehydrated. 

6. For my ladies....do not joke with your sunscreen. As a matter of fact, men and women. Skin cancer is a thing. 

7. Invest in miniature perfumes, perfume oil, or whatever will make you smell good. You are a sweeth😄😄 child. Walk the talk. 

I will write again.

Comments

  1. AnonymousSunday, November 21, 2021

    Louder for those at the back of the class please.

    ReplyDelete
  2. YeeshTuesday, November 23, 2021

    😃😃Nice one Shade! Very relevant topic...💯💯🤍🤍

    ReplyDelete

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