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Showing posts from June, 2019

The One About Hemorrhoids

 Let me start by saying something important: nobody warns you about adulthood properly. It Started Innocently. Everything was normal. I woke up, drank my tea, minded my business like a responsible citizen. Around midday, I felt pressed and off to the loo I went to do a number two. Five minutes after, my life changed. Chaos. The Moment of Realization Let me tell you something: when hemorrhoids arrive, they do not knock politely . They enter like an uninvited relative during Christmas. Suddenly sitting down is no longer an activity. It becomes a negotiation with destiny . I sat down. My body said: “Excuse me, who authorized this?” I stood up. My body said: “Where do you think you're going? ” At that point I realized this pain is not joking with me. The Walk of Suffering Let me talk about walking. Normally, walking is simple. Left leg and right leg abi? But when hemorrhoids flare up, you start walking like someone that is transporting fragile eggs between your bu...

WHO WILL CRY WHEN YOU DIE?

A typical Nigerian man, who has a bit of money to throw around will usually marry more than one wife and several girl friends. That saying about sowing wild oats is one thing the Nigerian men do not take lightly. They have unbridled sexual relationships and end up having children strewn all over the place. I do not have a problem with a man doing sperm donor service to the universe, where I get concerned is the issue of taking responsibility for this mess they end up creating. Some men will accept some of the kids just because the mother chose to show that no one has monopoly of craze, because knowing a typical man it is usually stories that touch when pregnancy enter the situation. Some children have never, will never meet their fathers because those son of a gun bailed on their responsibilities . Recently I heard the gist of a supposedly very rich man who married a 2nd wife but could not gather the ''liver'' to tell his wife. He had to start sending emissaries ...