Life Happens....Very Fast Too.

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I can't believe how fast time flies especially when you are anticipating....

I wake up daily telling myself that I am going to update this blog.

Oh well, finally. Here we are. I still do not have anything to write about. 

Funny thing is I get a lot of inspiration on what to blog about when I am in the shower, the idea runs smoothly....how to write each line. Once I get out of the shower, the light bulb goes off. I can't seem to put words together. I doubt I will ever make it as a writer. 

The last few months showed me that you can be depressed and probably not know it until you pay attention. I have struggled with this for a while as I had:

1. Days when I just burst out crying at my desk for no apparent reason.

2. Sometimes I feel so empty and very hopeless. The future looks bleak. I guess this is what Nigeria does  to your mental health 

3. I stopped exercising...I started to take fizzy drinks daily. It was my go to . I ate a lot, i gained weight and I could not be bothered. Food was comfort. 

4. I was fixating on past failures, wondering why I made some decisions many years ago which on it's own is crazy cos why am I chiding myself for moving back to Nigeria 13 years after???

5. I had constant headaches and bad pains. 

But in between all, my family and friends never knew I was losing it. I constantly updated my whatsapp stories. I took pictures, I was the happiest assistant mother of the groom at my brother's wedding. I was the perfect wife and mother. I was the good friend to all my friends. 

It was like a phase coming and going.

Last week, I woke up happy and chirpy. Full of life. 3 hours into work, I actually felt what if I die? Is this what it is to feel suicidal? 

It felt like there was going to be PEACE at the other side. 

I took my phone and messaged my siblings...telling them what to do about my kids. Told them not to blame anyone. I was just looking for PEACE.

I really want to go on....I am in a better place though because of the love of family.  I have never been short of love and affections from that quarter of my life. But I guess sometimes, life happens.


Be kind to people.

I will write again. 

Comments

  1. AjTuesday, September 28, 2021

    It is well my dear. When there's life there's hope. Those shower moments do happen to me too.

    ReplyDelete
  2. LekeTuesday, September 28, 2021

    As usual a very thought provoking take. Welcome back to writing. I can assure you everything will turn out fine darkness comes before sunrise

    ReplyDelete
  3. YeeshTuesday, September 28, 2021

    I must applaud your courage in being able to translate your feelings into words and share...its a phase and I believe its come to an end. Keep focusing on the positive...remember to count your blessings...you have so much to be grateful for. We all do....
    I've missed your writing. Please don't stop. Glad to have you back.

    Hugs & kisses 💋

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousTuesday, September 28, 2021

    usually darkest before dawn. Thank God for support systems . now back to some exercise routine . it sure helps.
    insightful as always . Thank you for sharing

    ReplyDelete

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