ADULTERY: The Affair

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 ADULTERY:

Adultery is sexual relations in which at least one participant is married to someone else and it is considered objectionable on social, religious,moral or legal grounds.

We live in a world that I am going to refer to as an animal kingdom for the purpose of this post. And as we all know all animals are equal but some are more equal than others.

Some of the reasons people commit adultery varies from unhappiness to dissatisfaction with the marriage either emotionally or sexually. Marriage is hard work and without equal contribution or mutual nurturing couples usually grow apart.

Scenario A

A married man cheating on his wife for years, he gets caught or otherwise found out. He blames the wife for being  nonchalant to his needs and emotions. Blames the traffic for keeping him out, so he has to stop by the other woman's house to pass time. Blames his crazy work hours with the same woman he has been cheating with.  Note that in all of this, he doesn't blame his philandering 'member'. 

Story gets out and people will accept all this excuses as valid and some will even give corroborating stories. Then proceed to beg the wife to take him back,  after all men are programmed to be polygamous in nature. And yeah, he is the father of your children and you just have to forgive him and move past it.

Scenario B

A married woman cheating on her husband gets found out . She blames it on the man not giving her enough attention . She blames it on the husband's low libido , she may even be cheating as a form of revenge because quite frankly two can play the game of cheating. And for some women they never got over their exes and are stuck in the you can always get some any time dilemma. She may be feeling unappreciated and undervalued.

Story gets out and the woman gets bashed because women are not supposed to CHEAT. A cheating woman is perceived as a loose woman, a prostitute. Why would she do that? She should have thought about the effect on her children, the marriage e.t.c  The husband (who may or may not be innocent) will raise hell, fire and brimstone.

She will be asked to leave, because in our culture, a woman who cheats is capable of killing her husband. She will bring him bad luck. She cannot be trusted....and the excuses goes on.

Adultery: why are the men forgiven and the women don't enjoy such privilege?

Will you forgive a cheating Partner ?

Why ?

Why Not?

I will write again.

Love, light and peace.

Comments

  1. UnknownSaturday, August 08, 2020

    The world and our upbringing (Both for the men and women) has bern skewed some may say, but have you ever thought it's been skewed to think highly of women?
    In wars, there is shout of atrocious acts when the victims are just me, but not same when it has to do with women.
    That is why domestic violence was always thought to be against the woman but we all know that the flip does happen.

    I surmise that the world think highly of the women, hence the 'Breaking news' when the cheating is done by them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. TemmytayoMonday, August 10, 2020

      Ha well, women are innocent. We are *wink*

      Delete
  2. AnonymousSaturday, August 08, 2020

    Rather than having to monitor my hubby and telling him not to cheat, I'll rather advise him to always protect himself and not bring diseases home. It's too much wahala monitoring or telling them not to. No matter how hard u try, a man who will cheat will cheat. And as for me, if for some reason I'm sexually attracted to a guy, I'll ENJOY the sexual novelty. Shikena

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. TemmytayoMonday, August 10, 2020

      I can't fault your decision. I guess different folks with different coping mechanism. Thank you for leaving a comment.

      Delete
  3. DarkSaturday, August 08, 2020

    I am a strong believer that what is good for the goose is good for the gander. Marriage can be difficult and it takes a lot of patience and both parties wanting to make it work out

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. TemmytayoMonday, August 10, 2020

      Yep!!
      I agree. Sacrifice, patience. Hard work. Being intentional.

      Delete
  4. SalaSaturday, August 08, 2020

    Post is probably narrowed to the african/nigerian context, because if it were in obodo oyinbo, both crimes are equal and no moral or family sentiments will come to play. In the same light a billionaire gets to part with half or more of his earning is deemed fair there while over here it ain't gonna happen, cheating husband can still send u packing. To every man his cross.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. TemmytayoMonday, August 10, 2020

      Oh yes, blog post was based on African context. Where the woman is seen as must be holy. Should not make mistakes like the man.

      Delete
  5. DeanolSaturday, August 08, 2020

    Sometimes you might not know what to do until expetience it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. TemmytayoMonday, August 10, 2020

      This is also very true. Very easy to judge till you walk in the shoes of others. Thank you Deanol.

      Delete
  6. AnonymousSaturday, August 08, 2020

    This is a never ending circle. People can cheat and still be absolutely in love with their partners (Entanglement).
    The golden question to ask oneself is why you been cheated ON. Atimes it is best to check oneself first before laying blames on a cheating partner . I read somewhere on your blog something about a stinking attitude ? Yeah.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. TemmytayoMonday, August 10, 2020

      I know right, I've heard this theory of you can be in love with one person and be loving another human. I will disagree on reasons for being cheated on.

      Some people cheat...just because they can. Not because their partners are lacking in any sense.

      Some even cheat because they are bored and looking for ''fire''.

      Delete

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