The One About Hemorrhoids

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 Let me start by saying something important: nobody warns you about adulthood properly. It Started Innocently. Everything was normal. I woke up, drank my tea, minded my business like a responsible citizen. Around midday, I felt pressed and off to the loo I went to do a number two. Five minutes after, my life changed. Chaos. The Moment of Realization Let me tell you something: when hemorrhoids arrive, they do not knock politely . They enter like an uninvited relative during Christmas. Suddenly sitting down is no longer an activity. It becomes a negotiation with destiny . I sat down. My body said: “Excuse me, who authorized this?” I stood up. My body said: “Where do you think you're going? ” At that point I realized this pain is not joking with me. The Walk of Suffering Let me talk about walking. Normally, walking is simple. Left leg and right leg abi? But when hemorrhoids flare up, you start walking like someone that is transporting fragile eggs between your bu...
2 comments

THE LIES WE WERE TOLD BEFORE THE LOCKDOWN

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It is almost week 4 of the lock down from this global pandemic. I am already BORED.

For someone who does not even enjoy going out, this is a trying period of my life (tears, I mean hot tears).

I am one of the very few angels that God created to enjoy the gift of sleep, but how long can you sleep before sleep becomes a chore?  My sleep pattern is already messed up, i sleep during the day and stay awake till about 3am chilling with Netflix.

So back to all the lies we were told before the lock-down:

1. If you suffer from blackheads and acne, try not to wear make up for weeks and you will see a difference.
Verdict: Lie!! I have had breakouts in the last 2 weeks that were pretty bad and I have not worn make up in 4 weeks.

2. Eat home food and save money.
  Verdict: this has to be the greatest scam of the century. I have spent more in 4 weeks than I have spent in 5 months on food.

3. Rest: Take time out to rest and replenish energy.
   Verdict: When do we categorize rest under sickness, please? I have over rested if there is any word like that, now i feel more lethargic and it is crazy.

4. Spend time together as a couple, it builds bond.
    Verdict: okurrrrr, I agree!! But you know what? It is not as easy as we think? Now that you know your partners yells when working from home, do you still feel the love? Now that you know all those things that you know now, how are you feeling?

5. If I had more time, I would learn X.
    Verdict: Now that you have all the time, have you learnt it. I was always shouting, once i go on annual leave i was going to learn forex trading. I have been home for 4 weeks, I didn't even bother.

6. I can't live without something/someone.
  Verdict: In most cases, you can. Human beings adapt very quickly. Do not let boredom push you back into toxic relationships. Stay calm and the feeling of reconnecting with evil shall pass.

Till, I come your way again. Stay Safe and Stay Home.


Comments

  1. DeebabieSunday, April 19, 2020

    Hahaha. I can so relate with number 2 sef

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. TemmytayoSunday, April 19, 2020

      I think I spent all my money on food. I was so worried as I hate cooking even when i am not stressed.

      Delete
  2. AjMonday, April 20, 2020

    Lol quite interesting and truthful write up

    ReplyDelete
  3. DamolaSaturday, May 02, 2020

    Number 2 is true however, staying home makes us eat more than usual.

    ReplyDelete

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