The One About Hemorrhoids

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 Let me start by saying something important: nobody warns you about adulthood properly. It Started Innocently. Everything was normal. I woke up, drank my tea, minded my business like a responsible citizen. Around midday, I felt pressed and off to the loo I went to do a number two. Five minutes after, my life changed. Chaos. The Moment of Realization Let me tell you something: when hemorrhoids arrive, they do not knock politely . They enter like an uninvited relative during Christmas. Suddenly sitting down is no longer an activity. It becomes a negotiation with destiny . I sat down. My body said: “Excuse me, who authorized this?” I stood up. My body said: “Where do you think you're going? ” At that point I realized this pain is not joking with me. The Walk of Suffering Let me talk about walking. Normally, walking is simple. Left leg and right leg abi? But when hemorrhoids flare up, you start walking like someone that is transporting fragile eggs between your bu...
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In Pursuit Of Size 10...

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I have always been that skinny girl. Flat chest but a gift load of the derriere. So basically i have been that skinny girl with the bum all my life.

Fast forward to 2007 when I met my husband, I was still a comfortable size 6 and inching towards a size 8. Then the problem of choosing my wedding dress came up and getting an actual size 6 became a problem. 

I started eating like a termite, just so I could fill up and fit into my desired wedding dress. I became very friendly with the guys at the local Chinese on Elephant and Castle. Will stop by like 3 times a week and stuff my face with noodles and chicken. Got the result. Size 8.

I maintained the size 8 religiously until 2015 when I just let go and ballooned into a size 10/12. Ha, I could not button my shirts. My pants now became size 14 because 'bum'. I hated the round stomach and the big fat bum,unnecessary attention and then clothes don't fit. Double problem for a fine girl.

2018 September, I started taking my health seriously again. Going on long walks and conscious of calories intake. I lost weight again, had a fabulous figure for my 40th photo shoot.

2019: I couldn't be bothered about the weight again.

Purpose of this rant: Started another weight loss programme on the first of  November and I went from 78.3kg to 71.5kg in 4 weeks. This 75.1kg did not even last for a week because I got on a scale today and I weighed  75.3kg!!!!

How, from where? Just small bread and 2 bottles of pepsi...really??

Oh well, just had very soft Eba and Edika ikong at 7.30pm cos as they say I cannot come and go and kill myself.

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  1. The Local Guys – Pest ControlSunday, December 04, 2022

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