FOLA'S HAVEN

So, I have been battling in my spirit with what to write about. There is a lot going on right now and the chaos....I am trying not to get neck deep in controversy. Then I watched Skin on Netflix. It's a documentary by Beverly Naya on the black skin, I recommend 100% for you guys to go watch it. When it got to the part where Tenicoco was speaking about how she felt so insecure about her skin during her UNI days....took me down memory lane. I got into university at 16. I was naive and i did not have a lot of self confidence. I remember that I sometimes get this  you dark sha comments from class mates and a few acquaintances.   My Uni then, we lived off campus. My Landlord's son gave me a nickname shaming my skin colour   ''dudumadu". So one day, I summoned up courage to ask him  if he really thought been dark was an aberration, he laughed and then said as far as he was concerned, my skin tone stood out.  Me: *insert rol...

  I get a lot of  ''I look forward to  your whatsapp status"  "Your Status updates makes me laugh" "  "Are you ever unhappy?'' " I love how you celebrate your friends on their birthdays" " Do you ever feel sad?" Oh by all means I have my own issues, there are nights I cried  myself to sleep meanwhile I'd be getting messages of your status is cracking me up big time. There are days I am very moody and sad but people will laugh because "she is funny". There are days I wonder If God has forgotten about my petitions and forsaken me. I am "lucky" (as people have told me) to be married to a man who does not stifle my personality, who encourages me to be myself. A man that does everything to make me smile. The one who reminds me to update my blog and even helps to proof read when he is able to. When the storms of life gets high....I choose happy. Happiness is not easy, but happiness is an inside jo...

●      Washing dishes I am the fourth child of six children and the youngest of the three girls in my family. Cleaning up almost always fell to me once I was old enough to do chores. It became a getaway for me and made myself enjoy doing it. Everyone will be out of the kitchen the noise and scents of the cooking died down. The sink was below this huge double window. I would gaze out but not really looking at anything in particular because there was a storey building a few feet away. I would sort the dishes out according to size and then as I began the terribly unimaginative task of washing the dishes I let my mind wander over stories I had read - I was the girl child who preferred to curl up with a storybook than stand for hours on end watching my mother cook, I just couldn’t be bothered - that took me to other countries, gave me a view into other peoples minds and lives. Sometimes, I would write mini-adventure stories in my head, I could see the images f...

It has been consistently bad news about the harm done to women in the last few weeks. Dehumanising another human for your own pleasure. How evil can you be? Growing up, back in secondary school you will see boys touching girls in very suggestive and inappropriate  ways and it was termed ''tapping current". Rape: It is never always about sex, or your raging hormones or your libido. Rape is about showing power against another person which stems from a sense of entitlement to another person's body. Which is why you hear people say  things  like your husband or boyfriend is enjoying  because the lady has big breasts or she has big bum. Do we have a say on our body structure? Do you have to sexualise a woman because of the way her body is? Please what exactly in the body of a 10 year old or even a 5 year old girl fascinates a man? See,  I am tempted to believe that a rapist has mental illness. Quite frankly, what is the joy in inflicting pain on others? ...

It was a bright sunny afternoon , I was at the rooftop looking at the view of my surroundings. I got a call from my friend let's call him Dayo. Him: I have finally registered at my place of PPA (primary place of assignment ). I will be at  your place soon, let me buy you shagalinku yogurt . Me: Really, on top this you new N 7,500 salary. I will be ready in a few minutes. It did not take me too long to get ready, we were corpers. Just tasting the true experience of freedom and what it is to earn a salary. Fee minutes later, he got to mine and called me. Walked out and got into the car, only for this gorgeous man with Chinese eyes to be at the driver's seat, he said good afternoon (well I think that's what he said) but I could not hear anything...I was staring at him like a lost puppy. How is a son of man this cute? Omo lo ''hanz" bayi? I think I must have held my breath from the drive from Zone 5 till we got to area 11. That would have been a god day...